Cucumber & Rose Collins: The 'I am Basically a Spa Day' Drink for Moms Who Can’t Even
Let’s face it: Your idea of “relaxation” is hiding in the bathroom while your kids bang on the door asking why bananas aren’t blue.
But what if you could sip something that tastes like a fancy garden party instead of yesterday’s lukewarm coffee?
Enter the Cucumber Rose Collins—a cocktail so fresh, it’ll almost make you forget the Goldfish crumbs in your bra. Almost.
The Recipe:
Ingredients:
1.5 oz Hendrick’s gin (the “I grow herbs but kill succulents” gin)
1.5 oz cucumber juice (peel, chop, juice… or just blend a cucumber and strain it through a colander. We’re not Michelin judges.)
¾ oz fresh lemon juice (bottled in a pinch, but don’t tell the purists)
½ oz rose syrup (recipe below, or mix 1 tsp rose water + simple syrup if you’re over adulting)
Garnish: Cucumber slice (or a baby carrot if you’re out. Modern art, Mama.)
Rose Syrup Hack:
Mix 1 cup sugar + 1 cup water + 2 tsp rose water.
Simmer until sugar dissolves.
Bottle it and label “For Cocktails, Not Pancakes” so your kids don’t ruin it.
Steps:
Shake it like you’re mad about laundry: Combine gin, cucumber juice, lemon juice, and rose syrup in a shaker with ice. No shaker? Use a mason jar and channel your rage.
Strain into a tall glass filled with ice. Collins glass optional; a reused iced coffee cup works too.
Garnish: Float a cucumber slice on top. Lost it? A celery stick says, “I’m health-forward.”
Why This Beats Yelling Into a Pillow
Speed: Takes 5 minutes—less time than negotiating screen time with a 4-year-old.
Spa Vibes: The cucumber/rose combo is basically a face mask you can drink.
Forgiving AF: Use store-bought rose syrup or cheat with a splash of Torani. No one’s judging.
Pro Tip:
Sip this while pretending to “fold laundry.” Translation: sitting on the floor eating leftover chicken nuggets.
The Science of Survival:
Studies show floral scents reduce stress by 37% (or was that the gin?). Either way, the rose syrup whispers, “You’re doing great, sweetie.”
Final Thought:
You don’t need a zen garden or a silent house. Just 5 minutes, a splash of cucumber, and the ability to ignore the Play-Doh stuck to the ceiling. Cheers to pretending you’ve got your sht together.*
P.S. Share this with a mom who thinks “self-care” is showering twice a week. She deserves a spa day. 🥒✨
